Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Therapy That Actually Works!

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity.

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds"

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling, Name Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out Of The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity.......
Share This With Someone To Make Them Smile. Its Called therapy

5 opinions rendered:

Magdalen Islands said...

You crack me up at best, Sophia. Once again, where do you come up with all these funnies?

Sophia said...

It's a secret (wink wink)

Magdalen Islands said...

I'm always seeking out you new threads on Helium.com for this reason.

Schrödinger's Cat said...

LOL... #19 is fantastic!

Anonymous said...

Shoot! These are too funny!!

~paging Ambre Rae~

skips over to desk Makes note to self purchase extra large hair dryer buy decaf labels Espresso mosquito netting tropical cd let Sophia know I can't attend her party stop by ATM and zoo enroute home or take-out pay with check

In accordance with the prophecy, would you like fries with that?

~skips out of blog~