Saturday...

So for any of you following my drama saga, here's my latest update. (If you have no idea what I'm talking about, you might wanna read my other posts labeled "court" or "psycho ex."


I got to see my daughter for two hours on Saturday. It was supposed to be for 4 hours, but the schedule was conflicting. Anyway, it costs me $200 a visit to see her, not to mention the gas there and back was about $40. I hadn't seen her since March and I was really worried and had no idea what to expect. My ex has been filling her head full of lies and just plain BS. According to him, after the last visit, she told him that I said that I was going to kill her. Now, if I was a 4 year old girl, and my mother had told me that she was going to kill me, I'd be scared to death of her, wouldn't you???

Well, she wasn't scared at all! She came in and gave me the biggest hug and then gave her baby brother a hug. We talked for a few minutes and then played. I brought some finger paint so we did that for a while. She painted a picture for my grandmother who is sick with cancer. Then we went outside and blew bubbles and rolled down the hill. Then it started raining, so we came back in and played with toys and had a little lunch. She was so excited to see her brother. This is the second time that she's seen him. She couldn't believe how big he was.

When it was time to go, she didn't want to. She kept asking when she could come live with me again. How am I supposed to answer that? I still don't have a court date and it's really starting to piss me off. It's costing me so much money just to see her right now, plus I'm paying outrageous child support and my attorney isn't cheap. But I'm just so happy that I got to see her. She's growing up so fast and I'm missing it and it's KILLING me. I'm trying to be strong for her and for the baby, but sometimes I just want to break down. I've been told that life is often unfair, but unfair doesn't even begin to describe this situation. It's just plain f***ed up!

But on another note, things are slowly getting better. The attorney that is costing me a fortune is completely worth it. I know she'll get it done....I'm just not very patient!

Stupid American Court System!!!!!!!

Ugh!!! I'm so fed up with this so-called American justice system. I was supposed to go to court today to enforce my visitation. If you don't know what I'm talking about - please read my other posts labeled psycho ex and court. My ex has been keeping my daughter from me and has found some way to get the court date postponed AGAIN. This is ridiculous.

I just needed to vent!

Someone show me some love!!!!

Yesterday...

(Please read the post before this one so you have some background info)

So, the protective order hearing....

The county attorney knew that this was a frivolous suit, but he has his job to do. I had all the evidence proving that I couldn't have said those things in a supervised setting. The county attorney even told the psychos that they didn't have a chance in hell of winning. But they were persist ant and demanded the hearing. I talked to my lawyer Wednesday night and said something seems fishy. She said don't worry about it and that she would take care of it.

My best friend drove me there and we met my attorney at the courthouse and went in. Of course he had his mommy, his daddy, his sister, her husband, his grandmother and the slut there.....I also never mentioned this, but the entire family is extremely large -- think the Klumps -- I'm not exaggerating.....they took up two entire rows! They kept staring at me and giving me their disapproving looks....ugh.....we had to wait for the million other cases to get heard -- who ever invented this "organized" way of the court systems needs to be hit in the head!

At one point after my attorney had looked at them (she had never seen them before) she whispers to me "Those are some UGLY mother F***ers" I couldn't help it...I started cracking up! It was so funny..she kept asking me what ever possessed me to date - let alone - marry him! So funny....anyway finally our turn....

My attorney and I made our way to the front of the court room. She had me sit down while her, the county attorney and the judge met in the judge's chambers. After a few minutes (that seemed like HOURS) she comes back out with this weird look on her face. She sits next to me and says the hearing is a piece of cake...the judge knows that he is full of shit....but then she looks at me and says...we have another problem....OF COURSE WE DO...NOTHING REGARDING THIS FAMILY IS EVERY SIMPLE!!!

She looks right at me and says, "Why do you have a warrant out of ____ County?" I was shocked...I knew the county she was talking about, but I never got so much as a speeding ticket there. I said I have no idea...then it dawned on me why she asked that.....the lightbulb came on...."Am I going to get arrested?" I asked her -- even though I already knew the answer.

She nodded and told my friend to get on the phone and find out what the warrant was for and how much it was. The deputy that was there said that if it was paid before the hearing was over they wouldn't have to arrest me. My friend went out and started making calls. That fucker knew he was going to lose the case...but remember I told you he is a dispatcher at the sheriff's office....I'm sure he runs my name through the system constantly....he got me to court just so that they would arrest me!

So we continue with the hearing and of course the judge realized what he was trying to do...and said that he was full of it. No protective order and the visitation is supposed to be resumed until the motion for enforcement hearing which is set for August 15. So that went as planned.

My friend came back and said that the warrant was for a hot check -- also BS because I've NEVER written a check in that county...much less a hot one....but whatever I'll take care of that later...right now I just want to do ANYTHING to stay out of jail -- I've never been arrested before and I certainly don't wanna be! I was freaking out....Then my attorney went and talked to the bailiffs and deputies .... at this time my friend is on the phone with everyone trying to get money to get me out...I'm sitting in the courtroom listening to the next case. When my friend came back in she said that psycho's family was standing out there with cameras waiting for me to come out in handcuffs!!! (by the way, the sheriff's department they work for is in another county from where we had the hearing just FYI...but his dad likes to run for sheriff in THIS county every chance he gets because this is the county that they live in)

My attorney came back and said that she had arranged for the deputy to take me out the back door in an unmarked car and not in handcuffs or anything....she was going to get a bail bonds person to post the bond and that the judge was coming right over there to magistrate me and they were going to book me in and book me out.

The deputy that took me over there was super nice. He said he saw the name on the docket this morning and knew there was going to be some trouble. That family is ALWAYS trying to start shit....anyway he reminded me so much of Barney Fife from the Andy Griffith Show. So nice and he sounded just like him....anyway he let me ride in the front of the car and even let my friend ride over there with us....instead of going to a holding cell, they let me sit out in the public waiting room with my cell phone and friend. The bail bonds lady came moments later and did the bond, then the judge came in and took me in the back...he read me my rights and signed this piece of paper then the deputy booked me in and out and I was free! I actually had a good time with those guys...I got to hear stories about the psycho family and how I was too pretty to be associated with them (always nice to hear)

When I got home, I got to share my adventure with the whole neighborhood. I live with my dad in the STICKS...I mean redneck, countrified, old fashioned, southern, hot-tempered people live out there....they were all saying stuff like "let me see anyone in that family around here...we'll gettem fer ya" They were all just glad that I was ok. It was such an adrenaline rush. I mean this whole day was a major emotional rollercoaster....CRAZY. So my dad knew that I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown and he tells my boyfriend, "I got the baby, you take her out and get her drunk..she's earned it" My dad is so cool.

So I ended up going out and getting insanely hammered....I think I finally went to sleep at 4...and up at 6 to come to work today! At least it's Friday -- THANK GOD!!!!

Anyway, I know this has been one long story but I needed to let it out!!!!!!

Now you know why I'm always trying to laugh and make jokes about everything....it keeps me from having to think about all this mess!!!

Some Background Info Leading Up To My Adventure Yesterday...

OK, I usually don't let too much personal information about myself out, but if you're reading this, you're going to find out a lot about me. First off, most of you know that I have two children, my daughter is 4 and my son is 10 months. They have different fathers...I'm still with my son's father...anyway my ex husband is a complete psycho...and his family is even more psycho. He was able to win custody of my daughter in February 2006 (thanks to his daddy's money - but that's another long story). Anyway, I had standard visitation - every other weekend. That went on for a while and then he found out I was pregnant with my son he went completely insane. He started stalking me and harassing my family and coworkers and even got me fired because he kept calling up to my job. He accused my current boyfriend of hurting my daughter -- which ABSOLUTELY DID NOT HAPPEN -- and please believe me, I'm not one of those girls who defend a child abuser -- Trust me, if there was even a possibility that he hurt my daughter he'd be tortured and killed -- mark my words on that. There's absolutely positively no chance that he hurt her...anyway I'm getting off track. He made our lives hell plain and simple. So I moved a couple hours away from him to get away from the stalking -- but did that change anything? HELL NO..things just got worse. I also forgot to mention that he's a dispatcher for the sheriff's department and his daddy and half of his psychotic family work for that sheriff's department. Well towards the end of my pregnancy, I started having some complications (probably from all the stress) and I spent a while in the hospital and on bed rest. I was under doctor's orders to alleviate ALL stress. During this time, my ex (who knew my situation) decides to go to court and say that not only my boyfriend, but I was also abusing my daughter! So he manages to get a protective order that makes me have supervised visits!!!! I have no idea that this was happening because I was in the hospital. They said that I was unreachable which is pure bullshit because I had talked to my daughter on the phone and I had told her I was in the hospital.

So after my son was born, we were completely broke. I was overwhelmed with attorney fees and court costs - and I had lost my job, my car was about to get repossessed, we were about to get evicted...it was a TOTAL mess. So we packed our stuff and moved to my dad's so that we could get back on our feet. It was only supposed to be for a couple weeks, but it's been nearly 10 months and we're still here! (Also another story)

So like I said, we were broke. And by broke, I mean getting food stamps, recycling cans for gas money, B-R-O-K-E! And, because the jackass had gotten that stupid protective order, I had to drive an hour and half away to see my daughter supervised for four hours and pay $50 an hour for that. And that's on top of the $500 a month in child support I was having to pay! I talked to a few lawyers and with my case being such a mess they were asking for HUGE retainer. So, my boyfriend got a job. I couldn't work yet because my son was only a couple weeks old and I was still recovering. (And I'm sure you're wondering why I didn't ask my family for money -- the only family members I get along with are my dad - who lives off of social security disability - and my grandmother who wasn't in any position to help at the time)

Anyway, I managed to find a part-time job a couple months later (December 2006) and finally had enough money to go to that supervised place to see my daughter. By this time it had been 5 months since I'd seen her. By the time all the paperwork as done and I was finally able to go see her, it was March...8 months since the last time I had seen or spoken with her!

Finally, I saw her...It took EVERYTHING in me not to cry. I didn't want her to see my crying. My beautiful little girl.....who looked like a fucking RAG DOLL! It was 9 in the morning. Her hair had not been combed, she was wearing a dirty shirt and her pants were about 3 sizes too big. She wouldn't come near me! She was completely terrified. Now, my daughter and I have always been VERY close. I am a good mother and EVERYONE who knows me would tell you the same (well everyone except for the psycho family I married in to). I couldn't believe she was scared of me...but it had been a long time since we had seen each other and God only knows what that family has been telling her. So, the supervisor took us in to a private room and in a few minutes she came around. It wasn't long before we were playing games and laughing. Then out of nowhere she hugs me and says "I'm going to tell Daddy that you're not mean." I looked at the supervisor and then back and my daughter and asked her why she thought I was going to be mean. Her response: "Daddy said you were going to be mean" Can you believe that shit???? Well we ended up having an awesome day together. She asked about her baby brother who she had not met yet. I said that I could bring him next time if she wanted and she said yes.

I went back two weeks later and she walked right in and gave me a hug and a kiss. She loved meeting her little brother and we had a great time again.

By this time, I was finally starting to get back on my feet. My boyfriend and I were both working full time and my dad would watch the baby during the day. Things were finally looking up, so I started my new attorney hunt. I found an awesome attorney and we were going to go back to court and get the protective order thrown out and I would get my regular visitation back. Finally, the sun was coming up after a year of hell ----- but don't smile yet...psycho had other plans.

He's getting remarried and decides that it's too much of a complication to have me in their lives. Him and my daughter and the slut he's marrying (who was one of the many he was cheating on me with while we were married) and her daughter are going to have their nice little perfect family...I'm just in the way of that. A couple days after I retained my new attorney, I got a call from the visitation place saying that he had cancelled all the visitations and the only way that I could see my daughter was to take it to court. Great...I got to see her twice and now he's taking that away from me too! So, my attorney quickly filed a motion to enforce......THE DAY AFTER HE'S SERVED, He files ANOTHER protective order now saying that I told my daughter (during the SUPERVISED visit) that I was going to kidnap and kill her!!!!!! Oh and I'm also supposedly sitting outside her daycare all day...1) I don't even know where her daycare is and 2) I work all day Monday - Friday an hour and a half away from where he lives...how in the hell does that work??????

So yesterday we went to court about that....and I'll be back soon to fill you in on that saga...Stay tuned for more Days of Our Lives!!!!!!!!