Ripped Jeans and Broken Heels!!

Have you ever had one of those days where NOTHING goes right? That was my day yesterday for the most part. It wasn't a terrible day, but just one of those where when you finally get home, your nerves are just totally shot and you need about half a bottle of tequila to restore them....ok I am exaggerating a little. Yesterday, while I was at work, the heel of my left shoe broke off, which lead to my new nickname, "Sir Limpsalot" Yeah, so original, right? Yesterday was also a good friend of mine's birthday, and as we were leaving to take her to her birthday dinner, her pants ripped -- I mean all the way down her butt!!! So, after getting a good laugh, we came up with "Ripped Jeans and Broken Heels" as a saying that means something along the lines of stressful, annoying day.

So, on to my actual point of this babbling....believe it or not, there is one!

Thanksgiving is coming up. My hubby and I (along with Hurricane Derek -- believe me, the name is appropriate!) have been planning on going to see my grandmother. My mother is also there. The trip has been planned for about 4 months now. Yesterday (while attempting to glue my shoe back together) hubby calls me at work and lets me know that he may have to work Thanksgiving and might not be able to make the trip. He was so lucky that I was at work and there were people around or I probably would have lost it on him. He won't know until the day before Thanksgiving if he'll have to work or not....UGH!!!!!!!!!

So, possibly I get to make an 8 1/2 hour drive alone with a TODDLER in the back seat!!! I love my son very very very very very very much but it's sooooooooo hard to drive when someone is SCREAMING in the background and such.......but, driving alone with Hurricane Derek is really the least of my concerns.

The last time I saw my grandmother is in February. In March, she was diagnosed with lung cancer. She's taken a pretty steady fall downward ever since. My mother has been there with her for most of it. My grandmother has always been a very strong woman. Always taking care of everyone and always with a smile on her face. She loved to laugh and make everyone else laugh -- maybe that's where I get my sense of humor --- she's always had very strong opinions though and was very eager to share them with you. Everything was always perfect. Her and my grandfather were married 56 years before he died (March 2006). They were such a great couple. They taught me what real love was.

Anyway...sorry, lost my train of thought....so from what my mother tells me, she's taken a real toll for the worst. She isn't able to talk much now and tires very easily. She's down to about 80 lbs which is really hard for me to imagine. Ever since I can remember, she's been about 140 - 150. My mom keeps telling me these things to try to prepare me to see her, but I'm afraid that it's not going to matter. I know when I see her, I'm going to break down. Which is why I NEED hubby there. I'm going to need some support....I know my mother isn't going to give it to me. Maybe I'm being childish, but I'm going to need someone to lean on...and my hubby is my rock. He always knows how to make me feel better, no matter what. He knows the right things to say.

Last year, the holidays were horrible; mainly because of me. I was suffering from post-partem depression and dealing with a bunch of other drama concerning my daughter (which still isn't over but I'm handling it better now). Hubby and I made a vow that this year was going to be so much better. Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's..the whole "holiday season" was going to be the best...if not for us, then for Derek. Well, if he's not with us, it's not really better now is it? I don't want to make him feel bad, because I know he needs this job and I know it's pretty much out of his hands, but I NEED him with me. I keep praying for the phone call saying that he won't have to work.....I guess we'll find out next week.