My morning lesson on coffee...

I am not a coffee drinker. I always thought there were two types of coffee...regular and decaf. I know black means nothing's in it...latte has something to do with steamed milk...and that's about as far as my coffee knowledge goes....that is, until this morning!

So, Chris' (my boss) birthday is on Sunday, so I brought in Kolaches for him (it's something we do for everyone's birthday)....His favorite ones are the ones from Kolache Rolf's which is on Texas Avenue where all the damn construction is...and of course there was a line out the door, so I didn't get to work until about 8:30.

I sat the kolaches down in the break room and I'm heading for my desk when I hear the phone ringing...I knew it was someone in the office because it rings and then beeps...it was Chris informing me that there was going to be a meeting here at 9 and I needed to make a pot of coffee.

No problem, I thought...I've done that before...so I'm getting the stuff ready and then realize that there's no coffee. So, I go tell Chris that and he says to go to get some....I was like, ok...what kind? He just gave me this blank stare and said he didn't care...he was "in a mood"...which was easily figured out why when I looked and saw Dave sitting in Chris's office (I don't know if I've told you about Dave yet...we call him THE ANNOYANCE...that should give you a little insight--I could go on and on, but this story is kind of long and I really don't feel like griping about him today). So I leave...I know that Chris usually keeps some kind of Starbucks coffee in there, so I went to Starbucks.

I get to Starbucks and at 8:45 am on a very chili day..of course they're busy. So I go to where the bags of coffee are and there's like a million different types. I didn't want to call and bug Chris again, so I start looking at all the different kinds of coffee..you coffee drinkers are NUTS....ANYWAY, so this lady that's standing in line looks at me and asks if she can help. I told her my predicament.

She says I should go with a breakfast blend (WTF is a breakfast blend? Do they mix eggs and bacon in there or what????)

So there were like 40 types of breakfast blends and this girl that works there comes over and starts asking me what kind of meeting, how many people, what kind of people, etc. (I mean come on, seriously??) So, after telling this girl all about this meeting she gives me the one that she reccomends ($11 for a little bag!!!) Oh well...I'm not paying for it.....

So then she asks me, "Do you want me to grind that up?"

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....I don't know.....I thought that's what the coffee maker did?

So she asks me what kind of coffee maker I have...I have no clue...ummm it's this big and this tall and black.....She asks me if the filters were like a cone or if they were round...that answer I actually knew...they're cone shaped.

So she tells me to go stand in line and she takes the bag to go grind it (whatever the hell that means).

I pay for it and she hands me the bag back. I stand there waiting for a few minutes thinking she did something with part of the stuff because it's a lot smaller now.

Finally, she asks me if I need anything else and I said I was waiting for the stuff you grinded...She says it's right there..it's all ready to go.

Oh --- now I'm thinking I need to go dye my hair blonde because I feel like a COMPLETE idiot.

So then I get back to the office...and of course there are NO instructions on how to brew the crap and nobody in the office really drinks coffee so they were no help...until my knight in shining armour appears...the new guy Joe...who tells me he is a major coffee drinker...and I later found out that he's the reason we were out of coffee to begin with.......so he shows me how to do it and

FINALLY

I can go sit at my desk and go through my emails!!!!

Hope y'all got a kick out of that! Everyone here at the office sure did! At least it's FRIDAY!