My baby's first birthday!

My dad was in the hospital, so we had to cancel my son's birthday party, but I wanted to do something special for his big day. We decided to take him to Olive Garden. As you can see from the pictures, it looks like he really enjoyed himself!

Just getting started...still nice and clean!

This is good stuff -- now if I could just get it all in my mouth!

Pasketti makes me thirsty!

Have you ever seen a cuter mess????

Let me have it!!

Yummy yummy!!!

What Does a Kiss Taste Like???????

WHAT DOES A KISS TASTE LIKE??

One day a teacher had a taste test with her students. She picked a little boy to do the first test.

She blindfolded him, put a Hershey kiss in his mouth and asked,

'Do you know what it is?'

'No, I don't,' said the little boy.

'Okay, I'll give you a clue. It's the thing your daddy wants from your Mom before he goes to work.

Suddenly, a little girl at the back of the room yelled,

'Spit it out! It's a piece of a$$!'

Wine? Champaigne? Scotch?

On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher. The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers. The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy. Then the liquor-store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box. The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit. She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it. "Is it wine?" she guessed. "No," the boy replied. She tasted another drop and asked, "Champagne? "No," said the little boy "It's a puppy."

Something to laugh about today

If you're looking for my Wordless Wednesday post, please scroll down..although you are always welcome to comment on any of my posts!

Sometimes a name change is the best idea...

This could cause some problems...

How do you get there from here?

Everything you need for your redneck wedding!

It's a good deal, but... oh, the college costs!

McLogic gone wrong...

Well isn't this romantic?

Still Dead, Huh???........Go Figure...

"Mass suicides...Cows going over the edge...tonight on Channel 3 News..."

I'm Confused.. But The Gas Prices Look Good

ok ...

Make up your mind...

Worldess Wednesday - Who brought the cat????

I did not take this picture. I received it in an email and thought it was too funny!

Wordless Wednesday -- Working Mom

Wanna play Wordless Wednesday? Click here to find out more!

Manic Monday - Clue

Clue is my all time favorite board game. I've loved it since I was barely able to understand the rules. Maybe it's because I love mysteries, or maybe it's because I love Ms. Scarlett's red dress...I'll probably never know why I like it so much. I remember a babysitter I had when I was about ten years old. She'd watch for or five of us at a time. Our anges ranged from about 7 to 11. She would hide the Clue cards throughout the house, and put three (one suspect, one room and one weapon) in her pocket. Us kids would act out the game and try to collect the "clues" (the cards that were hidden). It was a lot of fun and a neat little twist to the traditional game.

Wanna play Manic Monday? Click here for details.

Stolen from Jadey!

This was originally on Galen's blog but I saw it on Jadey's and decided I wanted to play too. So come on if I can so can you.

1. What was the first blog that you regularly read? Ambre's
2. Do you remember the first" blogger" that you had an E-Mail Relationship with?
Yes, and we still do.
3.Why did you create your blog? Because it was fun and something different to do.
4. When was your first post, and who was your first commenter? If you really want to know, check my archives!
5. Are there blogs that you absolutely have to visit daily? Not really, but there are a few that I really enjoy.
6. Is your Blog categorized?..(I.E. Comedy, Literary, Personal Angst, Etc.) nope, it's really random
7. Do you see an end to your blogging some day? not in sight
8. What are you wearing right this very minute?....well, sorry to burst your bubble, but I am at work right now -- I have khaki pants and a blue button down shirt on.

My lack of blog posts....

I've gotten some emails from people lately wondering where I've been and why I haven't been posting and sending funny emails lately....sorry guys!

I've been extremely stressed out lately. First of all, I was supposed to go to court today to get my visitation fixed with my daughter and once again that was postponed. I've seriously had it with the court system. His lawyer is a real B***H and is finding every way possible to postpone the hearing.

My car decided that it wanted to piss me off as well. Something is wrong with the transmission. It won't go in to reverse at all and now it's not wanting to go into drive either....it's a POS car that I've hated since I got it anyway. I owe way more than the car is worth even without transmission problems. It only has 51,000 miles on it, but it acts like it has 200,000...ugh and the dealership wants $1,000 just to look at it!!!!!!! WHATEVER! So, I took it back to the dealership I got it from and the sales guy that I bought it from has been really helpful. He's giving me what I owe on the car as a trade-in and has found me a Jeep Liberty...which is something I've wanted since they came out...in my price range. I just gotta wait for my bank to ok it and of course he's been super busy this week.....ugh do people not understand that I need a vehicle to get back and forth to work???? Yeah so that's that....

Plus I've been busy on this site called Sparkpeople. I really like this site. It's for losing weight and/or just getting healthy. It has all kinds of stuff to do and look at. It's my new addiction! I guess all the stress I've been under the past couple years has taken it's toll and I've gained quite a bit of weight and now my main focus is losing it. So, I'm going to the gym and eating better and Sparkpeople is a great support system.

So that's what I've been up to...don't worry, I'll get the funnies back in no time!

My next life...

My Next Life...
I want to live my next life backwards.
You start out dead and get that out of the way.
Then you wake up in an old age home feeling better every day.
You get kicked out for being too healthy; go collect your pension, then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.
You work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.
You drink alcohol, you party, you're generally promiscuous and you get ready for High School.
You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a baby, and then
You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like conditions; central heating, room service on tap, larger quarters every day, and then...
you finish off as an orgasm.
I rest my case.

Simple and Powerful

A mother asked President

"Why did my son have to die in Iraq?"

A mother asked President
"Why did my son have to die in Saudi Arabia?"

A mother asked President
"Why did my son have to die in Kuwait?"

Another mother asked President
"Why did my son have to die in Vietnam?"

Another mother asked President
"Why did my son have to die in Korea?"

Another mother asked President
"Why did my son have to die on Iwo Jima?"

Another mother asked President

"Why did my son have to die on a battlefield on a field in France?"

Yet another mother asked President

"Why did my son have to die at Gettysburg?"

And yet another mother asked President
"Why did my son have to die on a frozen field near Valley Forge?"

Then long, long ago, a mother asked...

"Heavenly Father,
why did my Son have to die on a cross outside of Jerusalem ?"

The answer is the same ...
"So that others may have life and dwell in peace, happiness, and freedom."

IF YOU ARE NOT WILLING TO STAND BEHIND
OUR TROOPS, PLEASE, PLEASE, FEEL FREE...
TO STAND IN FRONT OF THEM !!!

Wordless Wednesday - Sunset - My favorite time of day...

Wanna play? Click here

Manic Monday - Faith

I got this in an email this morning, and I thought it fit in pretty well with today's Manic Monday.

I wonder what would happen if we treated our Bible like we treat our cell phone?

What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets?
What if we flipped through it several time a day?
What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it?
What if we used it to receive messages from the text?
What if we treated it like we couldn't live without it?
What if we gave it to our kids as gifts?
What if we used it when we traveled?
What if we used it in case of emergency?
This is something to make you go ”hmm, where is my Bible?”
Oh, and one more thing. Unlike our cell phone, we don't have to worry about our Bible being disconnected because Jesus already paid the bill. Makes you stop and think "where are my priorities?”
And no dropped calls!

Click the picture to play along!

Friday Flash 55

When is it over?
When does it end?
When does it stop?
Will I ever mend?

No more noise!
No more screams!
No more alarms
Waking me from my dreams!

Wait, what’s that I hear?
What is that you say?
The end is near?
Why? Because it’s FRIDAY!!!!

I hope everyone has a GREAT weekend!!!!!!

Choosing a wife...

Choosing a wife

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make-up and buys several new outfits,then dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

The man was impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.

Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their futurebecause she loves him so much.

Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long timeabout what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.


Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.

Men are like that, you know.

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer' s research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with either of them!!

Used Car...

It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds. As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies sitting in a used car. He stopped and asked them why they were sitting there in the car. Were they trying to steal it?
"Heavens no, we bought it."
"Then why don't you drive it away?"
"We can't drive."
"Then why did you buy it?"
"We were told that if we bought a used car here, we'd get screwed ... so we're just waiting."

Are you bored at work? Wanna play a game of Dare????

ONE-POINT DARES

1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.

2) Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

3) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say,"Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."

4) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your earsand grimace.

5) Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say,"Sorry, I really prefer it this way."

6) Walk sideways to the photocopier.

7) While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

TWO POINT DARES

1) Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him withdouble-barreled fingers.

2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it."

3) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).

4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle(there must be a 'non-player' within sight).

5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

FIVE POINT DARES

1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (5 extra points if youactually launch into it yourself).

2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.

3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob."

4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do anumber two."

5) After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in "The report's on your desk, Mon." Keep this up for 1 hour.

6) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.

7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, all of you just shut up!"

8) At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God as my witness, I'll never go hungry again."

9) In a colleague's DAY PLANNER, write in the 10am slot: "See how I lookin tights."(5 Extra points if it is a male, 5 more if he is your boss)

10) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, "You wanna trade?"

11) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

12) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it."

13) Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.

14) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.

15) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.

16) Hang a 2' long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants andact genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

17) Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuits, smashing each biscuit with your fist.

18) During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.

19) Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.

Wordless Wednesday - Bella

Highway Artwork

HERE IS A SERIES OF 7 SEMI-TRAILER TRUCKS THAT HAVE BEEN PAINTED BY A 'TROMPE L'OEIL' ARTIST. (TROMPE L'OEIL IS FRENCH FOR 'FOOL THE EYE'). HOPE THEY DID NOT CAUSE ANY WRECKS!!

1) TRAILER PAINTED TO LOOK AS IF THE SIDE AND BACK ARE OPEN, AND A GIANT BOTTLE OF FOREIGN BEER IS STICKING OUT OF THE TRAILER .

2) ENTIRE TRAILER IS PAINTED TO LOOK LIKE A GIANT CANVAS TOTE BAG. THE STRAP APPEARS TO JUT OUT, BUT IT IS ALL A FLAT SURFACE.

3) THE TRAILER IS PAINTED TO LOOK OPEN, WITH CASES OF PEPSI-COLA IN STACKS, SUSPENDED FROM THE CEILING, AND THE BOTTOM OF THE TRAILER IS EMPTY.

4) TRAILER HAS BEEN PAINTED TO LOOK LIKE THE FRONT OF A TRUCK,COMPLETE WITH A WINDSHIELD AND A TRUCKDRIVER PAINTED IN THE? 'DRIVER'S SEAT'. HE IS LOOKING BACK OVER HIS SHOULDER TO APPEAR AS IF HE IS DRIVING BACKWARD.

5) PAINTED AS A BEAUTIFUL, LIGHTED AQUARIUM WITH FISH SWIMMING IN IT AND 'LIVE' VEGETATION.

6) ANOTHER FOREIGN AD -- THIS ONE A SHELF LINED FULL WITH BOOKS AND A POST-IT NOTE WITH THE NUMBER. THE BACK HAS A CORK BULLETIN BOARD.

7) THE LAST ONE IS FOR PRINGLES HOT & SPICY....WELL, SEE FOR YOURSELF.....