I'm so excited...and I just can't hide it....

Yay..I'm in SUCH a good mood! Is it really a Monday? I went to my last counseling session today...yes you read that correctly my LAST session! Last as in NO MORE!!!! What a relief! It was amazing. I went in there thinking I had three more, but she said that she didn't think that I needed 3 more. She said that my actions lately have spoken for themselves. I'm learning to deal with my problems positively and not lashing out....not that I really lashed out anyway - I was mainly just very angry and bitter and thought I had nothing to live for. Depression is not a fun thing, but apparently "she" has shown me how to deal with things and manage my "depression" Whatever...it's everyone on Helium who makes me nearly pee my pants on a daily basis...it's watching my little boy try to learn to walk...it's my wonderful boyfriend always supporting me and loving unconditionally....it's my dad making me shut up and listen to reason...it's my determination to be there for my daughter so she knows she will always be loved...it's my totally awesome job...it's all those things...not the overpaid therapist! Anyway, maybe I did learn something from her, maybe I didn't....I guess it doesn't matter how I got better...I just did.

Of course, I'm always going to have to deal with depression. I've chosen to do it WITHOUT the use of drugs. I'm learning to deal with it on my own and I still and will always believe that laughter is the best medicine for anything and everything. Have you ever just laughed so hard until you could barely hold yourself up? It feels great doesn't it? Or if you're having a really bad day and you see someone you don't like trip and fall on their ass...doesn't it just make you feel so much better? I love to laugh....that's what makes me feel better...it works...so I want to keep laughing.....I'll be posting some more funnies today, so be prepared!

This Week's Counseling Session...

So, it's been a little over a week since I've gone...thank God for that! Although, I have to admit, today's session wasn't so bad. We mainly talked about my eventful court date. Then we talked a little about my upcoming visit with my daughter and ways to deal with that. I'm glad I got it over with early this week. Mondays are better..mainly because Mondays usually suck anyway, so it's best to do it then. It gives me the rest of the week to live normally. I only have a few more sessions to complete my end of the bargain with my family.

Counseling

I'd like some feedback from people that have been to or are going to counseling. I'm going to a therapist at the insistance of family members because I've been through a really rough time the past couple of years and apparently I wasn't handling it very well. My doctor said I had depression and prescribed me an anti-depressant to take every day. Well, after a month of taking it, I didn't feel any different and I don't like the idea of some chemical altering my brain. So, anyway I started seeing this counselor about 2 months ago. I go once a week. I don't feel any different. Actually, I leave there feeling worse. She twists my words around and is constantly make me dwell on mistakes I've made in the past. Well everyone makes mistakes -- it's a part of life. I thought that the whole purpose of mistakes was to learn from them and move on so why must I constantly dwell on them. I've come a long way in the past 10 months and I've worked my ass off to get there. Why can't I focus on the good things that have happened and the positive changes that I've made? Has anyone else experienced this? Please let me know. Oh yeah and she's constantly telling me to journal...so I guess that's pretty much the reason I started this...this is my journal...ok so that's pretty much all I have to say on that...comments, please!